News media stories of physical, sexual and emotional abuse of children have become painfully commonplace. Statistics vary by study, but some claim that as many as 25% of girls and 17% of boys are molested or abused by the time they reach adulthood.  Staggering numbers such as these have heightened the sense of urgency for parents, educators, medical and mental health professionals to teach children how to protect themselves. Unfortunately, the way information is imparted to children is not always age appropriate.  Thus, what is intended to protect, may unnecessarily and excessively alarm children, as well as potentially emotionally hinder them. 

The most commonly used phrase in  this teaching process which raises concern is "private parts." This choice of words too strongly suggests to children (and adults) that sexual anatomy is never to be viewed or touched. Early and prolonged education of young children with these kinds of sentiments (including 'bathing suit area,' etc.)  runs a risk of distorting healthy sexuality in adult life. The message we want to convey, rather, is that inappropriate viewing and touching is unacceptable.

The express purpose of Because It's My Body! is to help parents to empower their children to be able to declare what they deem as appropriate and inappropriate, (i.e., acceptable and unacceptable) touching or viewing of their bodies at any given moment in time. . The message to the children is that they have exclusive rights over their entire body. This communication offers children a substantially healthier and more positive attitude upon which to grow. A child who learns at home that it is permissible to say "No!" to being touched, even casually, by family members and friends is decidedly more apt and capable of saying no to inappropriate touching/viewing initiated by adults or children. It is important to note that the vast number of perpetrators against children are people the children know and trust. It is equally important to know that convicted pedophiles frequently acknowledge that they preyed upon children who would not resist their advances. Saying "No!" can be a powerful form of resistance.

Teaching this kind of assertiveness raises anxiety for many parents. Of greatest concern is that their child will be viewed as rude for refusing to kiss or hug, or be kissed or hugged, by extended family and close friends. A twofold response: First, polite behavior in greeting or saying good-bye need not necessarily include touching. A child who is taught how to articulate a gracious greeting and farewell will most assuredly be well received, even by those who had hoped for a kiss. Secondly, parents who literally stand beside their children and verbally give them permission to use words rather than touch when they have been beckoned by another are helping their children to grow into their independence. It is very hard for children to stand up to adults. It is up to parents to teach their children that respectful behavior is not the same as unchallenged submissiveness.

Permitting your children to reject your own advances of physical affection may be the single greatest lesson you can teach with regard to preventing sexual molestation. Every time you respect their wish to not be touched, you are reinforcing their sense of themselves and therefore, empowering them. Children who can say no to their parents are best prepared to say no to others.

Because It's My Body! offers parents and children a lighthearted look at the ways of getting out of "ticklish" situations in which kids often find themselves. Enjoy the silliness of the book, its words and illustrations with your child. Ask your child how else the children on each page could get their messages across. It is important that you read the book aloud as you would any other age appropriate book. There is no need to probe or lecture while reading. It is through your voicing approval and enjoyment of what's happening in the book that the message will be conveyed to your child.